You know you’re a mother when…

This made us laugh so much, raking back over things we do now that we would never have done before. I actually remember looking at friends thinking they were mad for smelling their children’s bum in public… how quickly times change!

1. Smelling someone else’s bum is normal and acceptable to do in public

2. Changing aforementioned dirty bum and getting poo on your hand doesn’t even make you flinch

3. Meeting a friend for a chat with the kids means you don’t finish one single topic of conversation due to interruptions but you don’t even notice until you think about it later – you plan to meet again soon and ensure it will be different next time, it never is…

4. Even when you don’t have to be you‘re awake at 7am

5. Having a shower on your own is a treat

6. You can wipe a nose with one hand, pour a drink with another and have a full blown conversation with someone without thinking too hard

7. Wiping that nose with your hand is completely acceptable

8. When you visit someone you scan the room for glass, corners, small ornaments and toddler eye level potential maiming implements before you even sit down or say hello

9. None of your doors have locks/keys (except for the chain lock – which is for keeping people in not out)

10. You are tempted to remove the keys from door locks in friends houses – but remember they don’t have kids

11. You spend more money on children’s shoes than your own shoes

12. and clothes

13. Peeing on your own is a novelty

14. You can’t wait for a night away from your little angel but the minute you get it you just want to be home with them

15. You’ve put them to bed and 20 minutes later realise you’re still watching Fireman Sam

How many of these do you do?